托福写作29分独立综合作文结构讲解

发布者:清源泉水 时间:2022-11-15 12:51

托福写作想要取得高分难度是比较高的,不仅因为作文本身不好写,更是由于作文评分标准较为主观考生很难把握。今天小编给大家带来了托福写作29分高手经验分享,希望能够帮助到大家,一起来学习吧。

托福写作29分高手经验分享 独立综合作文结构讲解

托福综合写作文章结构分析

综合写作因为有个reading 可以参考所以很好写,只要记下了listening里的要点,再依次呈现即可。

开篇:一句话,说明reading 和listening是有明显不同的。

中间段:每一段一个点,论述reading 和listening的不同。

结尾段:不用写。

托福独立写作写法结构讲解

独立写作的结构较为复杂,我们从第一段开始。

开头段,请分为三句话。background statement描述背景,opinions描述两边的观点。topic 表达我自身的观点。我个人喜欢用一边倒的方式写托福作文,当然中立观点也能写。在topic段落中,除了表达观点,我建议把接下来会使用的论点全都用一两个词概括出来,总领全文。这样写下来,大概是80个字。

接下来就是中间段了。对于一边倒式的文章,建议写三个中间段,每一段70个字。第一个中间段赞颂反方论点,说它怎么怎么好,随后一个转折,后两个中间段各阐述一个自己的观点。一段只讲一个论点,一个论点必须在一段话中完成。对于持中立型的文章,建议分成两段,各100字。在每一个段落中,阐述两个支撑论点。这样一来,无论是一边倒还是持中立,我们都要完成200字左右的阐述,并且正反兼顾。

结尾段,20到40字,用一句固定的话可以直接完成。

我们的目标是在独立写作时,拿到题目立刻开始写开头段,在无脑写作开头段的过程中想出论点,并在开头段结尾处概括出来,接下来用中间段给予论述。最后无脑写结尾段。

托福写作解析:Eat out or eat at home

托福写作题目:

Topic:Eat out or eat at home?

Some people prefer to eat at food stands or restaurants. Other people prefer to prepare and eat food at home. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

参考分析:

不要急于做出选择,先进行比较,然后根据情况选择:

去餐馆或者吃快餐的优缺点:方便、快捷、多种口味;昂贵、卫生可能得不到保障、快餐使人发胖;

在家吃饭的优缺点:干净、可以做出自己喜欢的口味、节省、与家人和朋友共同准备实物很开心;花费时间、可能做的没有餐馆那么好吃;

在不同的情况下会有不同的选择。周末休息应该跟家人在家里吃饭。与老朋友久别重逢应该找一家安静的餐馆……

范文:

选择在饭馆吃饭:

(1)节省时间,自己做饭很麻烦;

(2)能够品尝各种各样的美食;

(3)能够促进和朋友的感情。

Nowadays, some people like to eat at home and prepare food by themselves, but others prefer to eat outside in restaurants or at food stands. As far as I am concerned, I prefer to eat at home.(标准式开头,先阐述现今社会状况,再表达个人观点,开门见山)

Of course there are some advantages to eat out. Firstly, restaurants offer a more comfortable environment to eat and the food there tastes more delicious than home-cooked meals. In addition, eating at restaurants is a good way of getting together with friends. People also do not need to worry about washing dishes and cleaning. For people who are too busy to cook, eating out is certainly an ideal(理想的)choice. Furthermore, for people do not know how to cook and do not have someone to cook for them, eat out seems to be the only choice.(本段是让步段,先讲在外吃的好处一个是舒适的环境美味的食物,另一个是给不会做饭和不知做饭给谁的人提供吃饭的条件)

However, I prefer to cook and eat and home. The main reason is that at home, family members can prepare their meals and enjoying their food together, which can enhance their relationships. Family members can talk, make jokes and exchange feelings on current affairs with each other while preparing a meal. Parents have a chance to communicate with their kids and keep track of what they are thinking and doing; while children can learn to help with some household tasks and develop intimacy(与父母增进感情)with their parents. Image that you and your brothers and sisters help your mother to cook on a weekend, and enjoy the food later on(稍后), and you feel everything is so nice.(这是第一段论述在家吃好处是可以与家人增进感情种.种,以自己为例子显得生动可信)

Another reason is that eating at home can save money. The same amount of money that you spend on a meal in a restaurant can buy a lot more foods from a supermarket. You can use the money saved to buy a new cloth, or attend a concert.(本段是从经济方面来论述在家吃确实可行)

General speaking, eating out side is comfortable and convenient but eating at home has more benefits. I prefer to eat at home.(这篇文章是标准的议论文结构,没有特别华丽的语言,但是结构清晰论述完整,没有语法错误,这也是保分的必要条件)

托福作文:深度分析高分写作的关键要素

独立作文题目

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Students now are more interested in politics than those in the past.

With the globalization of the whole world(万能开头稍显弱,还有whole world这种画蛇添足的词汇,难道后面要分part world写?), politics are playing a more important role nowadays, both domestically and internationally. Thus, I agree that students have more interests in this area than those in the past for two reasons.

First, the advanced technology, such as high-speed Internet, multi-media and smart mobile phone(什么是smart mobile phone,难道有smart phone不能mobile吗?), allows more students access to the politics events. The technology lay an essential foundament(是foundation吧) for students to keep in touch with those activities. For example, the presidency competition between Hiliton and Trump is getting more dramatic. Lots students(Lots是败笔) would watch the TV argument between them by phone, portable computer(什么是portable computer,专业一点就是laptop和ipad吧) and so on(等等等等……考官看中国考生文章会出现无数so on,审美疲劳有没有). They could even(上下句之间有even的递进关系吗,不明显) watch the live program as they are waiting for a bus, share their opinions on the internet while they are in the washroom and hear the speech in their car driving home. Therefore, the convincing efficiency and entertainment attract more and more(这篇作文good肯定是没戏了) students to focus on this politic event. However, students in the past even don't know how to watch the program(神转折,脑子里想的和表达出来的完全不是一个意思,过去的孩子怎么就不知道看电视节目了!他们又不是弱智!是没电视节目看!是没方便的途径!是However, students in the past lack the plentiful sources to approach politics compared with their counterparts nowadays的意思对伐).

Moreover, the more open, transparent and friendly(堆这么多形容词……哎!请注意言之有物!) politic atmosphere provide a great chance for modern students to got involved(时态错了) in these politic activities. Take China for an example(有这种惯用表达吗,我们不是莎士比亚), students beyond 18 years old have the right to vote for political members, like chairman of the students union, which were used to be nominated by school in the past without permitting students to decide who they support and are supposed to be chairman(亲,这么长一句话知道自己在写什么吗?扣分句). This right just inspire the student to choose their own president(这么草草收尾,这论证有点意识流啊!).

In a conclusion, the advanced equipments and the openess to ordinary studentsthe bring more students to join in the politic events(这什么意思?什么叫openess to ordinary students?难道还有special students?是不是想说More students are willing to talk about even participate in political events by the help of advanced technologies and increasing civic attitudes toward politics.).

(计时写作,全文274词)

这篇习作拿到托福考试中,很难达到GOOD要求,通俗讲就是 " 亲,不谈论证逻辑,不扯思维深度,就是语言,哥读的有点累啊,有地方要脑补啊,很多句子连不上啊!"

那么一篇good标准的独立文章长什么样?还是以该题目为例,不改变上文的立场,不颠覆上文逻辑,尽量保持思维角度的一致性,仅从语言和论证严谨度来修改一下,计时创作一篇。

An intriguing phenomenon occurring on and around campus nowadays is that students are more interested in politics than ever before. It is frequent to hear students talking about Obama Care or the latest Presidential Campaign in the United States when dinning in the cafeteria ,say like, Havard or MIT nowadays.

To elaborate, technological advancements improve the readiness of politic access. In the past, society communicates in the form of letters, newspapers and radios with comparatively low efficiency and little convenience. For example, huge political events in China like the escape of once vice-president Lin Biao would not have gotten the attention of American students until many days even weeks later after VOA or CNN have broadcasted it. Even those American students have noticed the incredible political event from newspaper or radio, they have no source to check all the details from Chinese students or friends due to the information barrier between the two countries. In addition, students in the past only shape their perspectives on a political event through authority publications, causing bias in viewing the issue. However, students today can capture every piece of information, political and non-political, just at the time it goes on even on the other side of the globe and receive multiply sources of opinions from government perspective to public statements by the help of the internet, the invention of smart phones and other mobile devices, thanks to the advancement of multi-media technology. These new equipments connecting by the internet makes a strong and close relationship -- "Information Globalization"-- which shattered info barriers and make even the tiniest voice matter. For example, recently in China there is a breaking news that the wife of ChongQing city's mayor, Bo Gukailai, has been prosecuted for causing the death of a British businessman in Beijing. In the past, these "higher class" news will be soon concealed by authorities. But now, students from all over the country can learn about the event only a few hours after "rumors" spread quickly through Wechat or Weibo which left no room for public authority to "hide" any truth but to make a formal announcement and explain the situation.

Also, the spirit of democracy is indeed growing its power not only in developed countries like US but also in developing countries like China even in undeveloped areas. Chinese students are under great supervision and monitoring in the past. As a result, college students are not permitted to talk about political figures or discuss central government policies. Of course, you can "whisper" in the dark, but you know the influence for that. But now, students are free to claim their thoughts about anything and everything even expressing very extreme ideas about politics on the internet just by click a "send" button in Wechat or any similar social APP. At least from what I know, nobody is getting arrested by talking or discussing politics which is so called "the forbidden zone" in the past.

Admittedly, students in schools have little social experiences and usually come up with unrealistic conclusions or solutions about social problems or political events. But it doesn't hurt much to allow students to show bigger interest about it. After all, who rules the next century is always an issue of time, so encouraging students to enroll and learn politics is probably a question of "sooner rather than later" which might be a better way to look at it.

(计时写作,全文556词)

当我们回头去思考托福写作如何获得高分满分的时候?

Is it about the template you would use in test? Is it about fancy words you paraphrase in article? Or is it about something meaningful with correct vocabulary and precise expression throughout the writing? In a word, make sure what you've written MAKES SENSE and let the scorer feel EFFORTLESSwhen glimpsing it through!

高分写作不完全靠背模板,也不完全是抄范文(当然这些都有帮助),真正的高分满分托福作文要 " 多读书多看报少吃零食多睡觉 "。

写作和口语不能闭门造车瞎逼练,否则会永远犯同样的错误,建议各位考生要么背诵地道的英文词句表达,要么找托福口语写作老师陪练(主要是修改习作),这些反馈可能比写多少“机经”都重要,至少节省钻进死胡同重复犯错的时间!

托福写作29分独立综合作文结构讲解相关文章:

★ 托福两个月提高25分经验分享

Copyright © 2022-2024 领地网 www.lingd.cn 版权所有 蜀ICP备09043158号-4

声明:本网站尊重并保护知识产权,根据《信息网络传播权保护条例》,如果我们转载的作品侵犯了您的权利,请在一个月内通知我们,我们会及时删除。