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托福作文怎样吸引考官注意?文学大师给你支招!

OG对于托福写作中开头段的解释是这样的：

It makes the reader want to read the essay.

It tells the overall topic of the essay.

It tells the main idea of the essay.

这三个特点中，第一个就是对趣味性的强调，虽然这点并不像后两点那么关键和不可或缺，但它对于那些想冲击写作高分的同学来讲却是一个很好的突破策略，试想如果在文章开篇就可以最大程度上调动考官的兴趣，肯定从整体上为你的文章加分。

而很多文学作品本身对于开头都是极其重视，毕竟如果读者连你的开头都不下去，那消耗他们更多的时间去读完整本书就是不可能的。我们也可以从这些作品中借鉴开篇的风格和写法，从而为我们的写作提供素材和灵感。

1 dramatic statement

第一种文学作品中用到开头引入方法叫做dramatic statement，也就是用一个非常戏剧性的开篇来冲击读者的感官，将读者从平淡的柴米油盐的日常生活中唤醒，同时也极大地调动读者的好奇心，促使他们读完文章的剩余部分。

比如加缪在《异乡人》中，是这样开篇的：“Mother died today. Or maybe, yesterday; I can't be sure”。

读者用母亲的死亡的开头做为话题引入，一方面使得读者从情绪上为之一振，勾起读者本身的好奇心，让他们想要去了解母亲过世背后的故事以及其后续的进展，另一方面也奠定了文章本身的深沉的基调。

而我们也可以在托福写作过程中运用dramatic statement作为开篇来调动读者的情绪和兴趣，比如对于这个题目：When teachers assign projects on which students must work together, the students learn much more effectively than when they are asked to work alone on projects.这个题目本身在讨论teamwork，我们就可以通过一些戏剧性的点，作为引入技巧：

There are no superheroes in this real world. Great projects cannot be accomplished just by one person alone, no matter how capable s/he is. We need teamwork to achieve our goals in every single professional field of the society because only by working with others can we have a chance to overcome our limits and achieve something significant. If there`s a project assigned by teacher, without any doubt, I would choose to cooperate with other students to accomplish that project.

2 quotation

另外一种常用开头引入方法叫做quotation，利用一句哲理性的引言来引入要讨论的话题，通过利用更有经验性引言的引入，不仅可以增加趣味性和哲思性，同时好比“站在巨人的肩膀”一样，从而提高本身的论证高度和说服力。

比如F. Scott Fitzgerald在《The great Gatsby》的开头就是利用主角叔叔的告诫作为开头：

In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. Whenever you feel like criticising any one, he told me, “ just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”

在托福独立写作中，我们也可以通过这种方法进行引入，比如对于此题：To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors.我们就可以通过Mandela对于教育的引言引入。

Nelson Mandela once said, “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.” In recent years, more and more attention was paid to how to improve the quality of the university`s education. A suggestion has been put forward that more money should be spent on salaries for university professors in order to improve the quality of education, which I totally agree with.

让步段落这样写，你的托福独立写作更有威力!

到底怎样写出好的让步段?今天小新就来和大家详细讲讲让步段的写法，助力你的托福写作!

写还是不写?这是个问题

Q：很多同学有疑问，在一篇完整的独立作文中，让步段是不是一定要写呢?可不可以不写呢?

老师：让步段不是必须要写的，考生们可以在作文里只提出支持自己观点的两至三个正面的理由，这样也可以得出最后的结论。

比如说是否同意“新的科技产品发布，过段时间购买比马上购买要好”，我们完全可以只提出过段时间购买的两个正面理由：一. 价格会更便宜; 二. 产品的性能会更优化，这样整篇作文的论点还是明确的。

但是这篇文章当然也可以加上让步段，过段时间再买的坏处，或是马上购买的好处。这样会显得这篇文章论证的逻辑更加严密和全面，我们确实是进行了优劣对比后，才得出自己的观点。

尤其要注意的是，如果作文题目本身的观点的反面并不能够被忽略，那么建议让步段是一定要写的，这样显得我们得出自己的观点才不牵强。

比如作文题目“Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.”。我们可以写正面的两个观点，即玩电脑游戏的两个好处，但是我们同样不能忽略玩电脑游戏的坏处，所以就要写让步段了，不然观点就会显得过于偏激。

怎么写让步段?这又是个问题

重中之重: “让一小步，进一大步”!

让步段的最重要目的是对让步内容地不断削弱，以退为进，先提出坏处，然后再否定它。但是要记住的是让步段与支持段结构一致，也是有主题句，然后要对主题句进行展开解释。

所以常见的套路是：

主题句(不可否认A也有坏处)+解释(进一步解释说明坏处是什么)+让步(但是呢，这些坏处可以被解决掉，或是不太重要)

1.让步段主题句写法

让步段的主题句一般是这样的：不可否认的是，A可能会有一些坏处。这里我们尽量语气要委婉些，下面是一些会用到的词组表达：

——Admittedly / Undoubtedly / There is no denying that / It cannot be denied that

——May / might / possibly / probably

——One / one or two / a couple of / minor / several

——To some extent / to some degree

【常见错误】

很多考生让步段用although开头，但是although后面只能跟一个从句，所以后面主题句的内容就没有办法展开了。

2. 让步如何实现

让步段的表述可以参考以下模式：

•让步方的好处比支持方的好处次要，或者支持方的坏处比起好处来次要。

However, the advantages of A are more important than those of B.

•让步方优点与支持方优点比起来较少，或支持方缺点与优点比起来较少。

However, the advantages of A are far more than those / that of B.

However, the advantages of A outnumber those / that of B.

•对方的好处，我方也可以有办法得到;我方的坏处可以有办法消除。

However, the problem can be solved by …

However, the negative influence can be eliminated by …

3. 让步段范例赏析

Q

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing computer games is a waste of time. Children should not be allowed to play them.

主题句:

Admittedly, playing computer games does harbor several drawbacks.

解释：

Some children are addicted to playing computergames and ignore their studies, thereby suffering from poor academic performance. Also, over exposure to computer games with high concentration will sooner or later cause the impairment of their eyesight.

让步:

However, most children are able to control themselves to play games in moderation. Also, their parents can intervene and supervise as well. Specifically, they could set strict rules on how much time their children could play games everyday and on what conditions they could do so, therefore it is completely unnecessary to forbid them to play computer games.

托福写作范文：新建大学

The government has announced that it plans to build a new university. Some people think that your community would be a good place to locate the university. Compare the advantages and disadvantages of establishing a new university in your community. Use specific details in your discussion.

I was fortunate enough to grow up in a small town where the state university is located, and my family’s life was richer as a result of having this university in our midst. Living in a “college town” can have its disadvantages, but I would readily advocate having a new university established in my community.

One of the primary advantages of having a university situated in a community is the economic boost it would enjoy. First and foremost, the community could look forward to the creation of steady jobs, including chefs to cook in the dining room, librarians to catalog books, and gardeners to landscape the grounds. Local restaurants, movie theaters and bookstores would benefit from the spending power of young college students, and new cafes and bars might even spring up.

However, a college town finds itself enriched not just financially but in other, less tangible ways. University life consists not just of academic but of extracurricular pursuits. Professors regularly give lectures on their fields of expertise, from Dostoevsky and Russian literature to American Civil War history, and these lectures are usually open to the public, as are concerts, poetry readings and plays. Especially in a small town, international students provide glimpses into other cultures that would otherwise not be so readily available. In the town where I grew up, a large number of doctoral students came from India with their families. The daughter of one such family eventually became my best friend; her family brought me to local Indian cultural events and I grew to love the culture and now consider Indian food to be practically my native cuisine.

It would be inaccurate, though, to portray a college town as a utopia. It’s an unavoidable fact that some undergraduates consider partying to be central to the college experience, and when such students live off campus in apartments, their lifestyles are likely to cause tension among their neighbors. Longtime residents who relish their communities as peaceful, family-oriented places to live are naturally disturbed when a group of students rent the house next door and create an atmosphere of drinking, parties and loud music at odd hours. There is no easy solution, but communication between the university administration and the community is an essential part of the planning process before the university is established.

When a university is established, it becomes inextricably connected to the community where it is located. Alumni who return, years later, for reunions might have some of their fondest memories away from campus, for example in the coffee shop where they spent hours studying, or at the ice cream shop that was a Friday night destination. Planning and discussion between the administration and the community will always be necessary to reduce conflict, but if given the opportunity to welcome a new university to my community, I would be more than enthusiastic about the prospect.

Eg: Four centuries ago, Christopher Columbus, one of the Italian mariners whom the decline of their own republics had put at the service of the world and of adventure, seeking for Spain a westward passage to the Indies as setoff against the achievements of Portuguese discoverers, lighted on America.

Eg: With these hopes and in this belief I would urge you, laying aside all hindrance, thrusting away all private aims, to devote yourselves unswervingly and unflinchingly to the vigorous and successful prosecution of this war.

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